True Wealth Reflects in Your Relationships: A Holistic Perspective to Wealth
When we think of wealth, our minds often jump to financial success, material comforts, or professional achievements. But is that truly the whole picture? Can we consider ourselves wealthy if our relationships are strained, distant, or transactional?
True wealth encompasses more than just dollars and possessions- it extends to the quality of our connections, the depth of our intimacy, and the energy we bring into our relationships.
For years, I thought I had it all figured out. I loved my family deeply, but unresolved frustrations and unspoken emotions simmered under the surface. Like many, I’d accepted these bumps in the road as part of the “normal” relationship experience.
What I didn’t realize was how these dynamics mirrored my relationship with money. Both areas of my life were influenced by unexamined childhood wounds and the defense mechanisms I’d developed to protect myself from pain.
Healing those inner wounds transformed my understanding of wealth- not just financially, but relationally. Here’s what I’ve learned:
How Early Wounds Shape Our Relationships and Money Habits
Many of us carry unaddressed wounds from childhood- feelings of unworthiness, abandonment, rejection, betrayal, etc. These emotional scars lead us to develop defense mechanisms that, while protective in the moment, often block us from forming healthy relationships and experiencing financial abundance.
To illustrate…
Unworthiness may drive people-pleasing behaviors, where we seek validation by prioritizing others over ourselves. Financially, this can manifest as undervaluing our work, undercharging, or overspending to prove our worth.
Abandonment may lead us to cling tightly to relationships or avoid closeness altogether. With money, it might show up as hoarding wealth or making impulsive financial decisions to soothe feelings of insecurity.
Rejection or Humiliation can push us toward overcompensation- striving for career success while shying away from the vulnerability that deep relationships demand.
Betrayal fosters distrust, leaving us guarded in relationships and anxious about financial instability, even when outwardly successful.
What’s fascinating is how these patterns echo across our lives. Our relationship with money often mirrors our relationship dynamics- both are shaped by the energy we carry and the unresolved wounds we bring to the table.
When Money Becomes a Shield
For many high-achievers, financial success becomes a shield- a way to avoid the vulnerability and discomfort of deeper connections. Wealth offers a sense of control: with enough money, you can create physical comfort, sidestep rejection, and project an image of success.
But this reliance on external validation often leads to superficial relationships and an underlying sense of disconnection.
I saw this pattern in my own life. I used my career expertise as a shield- stepping into the role of “rescuer” with my loved ones. I convinced myself that by offering advice or solutions, I was being helpful.
In reality, I was avoiding my own vulnerability. I was controlling rather than connecting. This dynamic bred resentment and disconnection, both in my relationships and in my financial life.
The Energy You Bring Shapes Your World
Everything in life is energy- including relationships and money. Fear, unworthiness, and control are energies that ripple outward, shaping our external realities.
In relationships, these energies might show up as micromanaging, avoiding conflict, or feeling unsupported. Financially, they can manifest as overspending, hoarding, or constantly chasing “enough.”
Here’s the hard truth: When we don’t address the energy we bring, we inadvertently reinforce the patterns we most want to escape.
My need to control- to feel “needed”- created cycles of dependence and frustration in my relationships. Similarly, my scarcity mindset around money led me to overextend myself while quietly resenting the very dynamics I had created…
Breaking the Cycle: Trust and Letting Go
The turning point for me came when I began to let go of control. This wasn’t about giving up, it was about trust: Trusting myself, trusting others, and trusting the process. Letting go of control meant releasing the belief that I had to manage everything for my safety and happiness.
Here’s a simple yet transformative practice that helped me shift:
Acknowledge Your Emotions: Identify what you’re feeling- anger, fear, frustration, or the need to fix someone else’s problems.
Take Ownership: Remind yourself that these emotions belong to you, not the other person. Affirm, “I choose to release this feeling. It belongs to me.”
Release Control: Consciously let go of the need to control others. Say, “I release [name of person] to their own path and trust that things will unfold as they’re meant to.”
This practice sounds simple, but consistency is key.
As I released control, my relationships and financial patterns began to shift. By stepping back, I allowed my loved ones to grow into their own authenticity, and I freed myself from the exhausting cycle of overextending and resentment.
True Wealth Lies in Connection
True wealth isn’t measured by numbers in a bank account or accolades on a resume.
It’s about the quality of your connections- with yourself, your loved ones, and the energy of abundance. Relationships and money are two sides of the same coin, both requiring trust, vulnerability, and a willingness to break old patterns.
If you’re feeling stuck in your relationships or finances, ask yourself:
What past wounds might be shaping my current patterns?
How am I contributing to the energy dynamics in my life?
Am I holding onto control, or am I willing to trust and let go?
The answers may be uncomfortable, but they hold the key to transformation.
When we heal ourselves, we don’t just improve our relationships or financial outlook- we shift our entire energy toward abundance. And that’s what true wealth is all about: living a life rich in connection, trust, and authenticity.